


The Cooler Kings

by amcw177



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Excessive Swearing, M/M, sarcasm and rampant metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-29
Updated: 2009-12-29
Packaged: 2018-08-07 05:49:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7702972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amcw177/pseuds/amcw177
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When one of Gokudera's subordinates gets caught by the police they have to break him out in an impromptu mission which allows for some interesting insight into how the Hibari-Gokudera tag team gets things done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Beware:** This is a repost from Livejournal. I'm trying to move all my fics here.
> 
> Written for the 2nd round of [khrfest](http://khrfest.livejournal.com/) for the prompt: _V - 2. Hibari/Gokudera: "It's strange the way they work together"_
> 
> Set around the time the Vongola began building their underground base.
> 
> Credit where credit is due: the title is based upon Seve McQueen's character in 'The Great Escape' whose nickname was 'The Cooler King'.
> 
> Beta by [kentucka](http://archiveofourown.org/users/kentucka/pseuds/kentucka)

This was probably not one of Gokudera's best ideas. Scratch that, he was pretty sure it was one of the worst he'd ever had but it was not like they had a choice. They didn't have much time either, come to think of it. And faced with a lack of time and alternatives that was the best he could come up with.

"Here, take this," he said and started emptying his pockets into Hibari's somewhat unwilling hands. Hibari's look resembled that of a disgusted prize dog - especially when Gokudera shovelled crumpled papers in varying degrees of decay onto his palms.

"Notes," Gokudera explained while dumping dynamites in all shapes and sizes onto the small heap, "very important notes." He kept a few sticks of explosives hidden away because he had a nagging suspicion that they would come in handy.

"I'm sure," Hibari said and to a stranger's ears it might have sounded genuine but Gokudera knew a mocking tone when he heard one.

"Shut up." He topped the little pile of danger off with a small calibre gun he usually kept fastened around his ankle, "just-... take care of that for a while and-"

He shrugged. "Keep away from heat sources, I guess."

Hibari eyed the heap of miscellaneous items in his arms and Gokudera had known him long enough to distinguish a particularly unhappy frown from a default one. But he silently motioned for Kusakabe anyway to pick up Gokudera's belongings.

"And what do you intend to do now?"

"Now?" Gokudera straightened out his suit, adjusted his tie and nodded. "Now I'm gonna get myself arrested."

\---

It all started with a phone call. The most inconveniently timed one in the history of long-range communication, in fact.

"If you answer that I will bite it off," Hibari growled from between Gokudera's legs and there was no doubt that this wasn't just an empty threat. He'd tested Hibari's patience often enough to know that interruptions during intercourse did not go well for _any_ part of Gokudera's body.

Plus, Hibari was already on DefCon 3 because they'd been scooped up in a hotel room in Rome for four days. There had been a little problem at the airport when they'd arrived and it might have involved a couple of explosions and an arrest warrant for someone who looked suspiciously like Gokudera.

As a result they were forced to spend most of the time inside because the streets were swarming with police officers who would gladly take credit for bringing in either - or preferably - both of them. It was rather humiliating to have Kusakabe ask for their room reservation and then sneak them in through the hotel kitchen and the staff rooms.

Hibari was expressing his resentment by being an even testier prick than usual and making every minute of being holed up indoors a living nightmare for Gokudera. If he hadn't seen it coming Hibari's death toll would have already comprised two hotel porters, a maid and a peke.

For the sake of his own sanity and health Gokudera resorted to the only thing he knew brought roughly the same sort of excitement while leaving innocent people unharmed - sex. It worked like a charm and it had the pleasant advantage of getting Gokudera laid too.

"It could be import- Ah! Fuck! That hurt, you bastard!"

"I warned you," Hibari stated matter-of-factly.

"It could be the Tenth-," Gokudera tried to argue but Hibari sucked particularly hard on his dick and effectively shut him up in mid-sentence.

He licked along the shaft and amazed Gokudera with his ability to retain all his brain functions. "No, it's not. You've got a special ringtone for Sawada. And that wasn't it."

Gokudera refrained from asking why Hibari knew what ringtones he used for their calls and instead concentrated on the feel of Hibari's lips around his cock. It wasn't particularly hard to focus.

However, even despite Hibari's spectacular skill the ringing got annoying after the fifth time. And Gokudera could only enjoy Nabucco's Chorus of Hebrew Slaves so much over the span of ten minutes while getting head.

Besides, whoever this caller was, they were obviously pretty desperate to reach him.

"Shit!" Gokudera threw his arm over his eyes and blindly tried to shove Hibari off of him. He was probably the only human being to ever stop someone like Hibari in the middle of a blowjob but he just couldn't leave a call unanswered. Especially not one that was as persistent as that.

He barely avoided Hibari's teeth when he quickly rolled over and snatched the cell phone from the nightstand.

With one arm pinning his lover down on the mattress he squinted at the display. It only revealed a number he didn't recognise.

"Hello? Who is this?" Gokudera hissed. Meanwhile, Hibari was back on top of him and seemingly attempted to bite through Gokudera's neck.

_"Sir? Is this you? I wasn't sure if I had the right number. Sir, I'm really sorry to call you but-"_

Gokudera mouthed a silent _'Ouch!'_ and wrestled with the Cloud Guardian until he had at least one hand back to hold the cell phone with. "Who the fuck is this?"

_"Uhm, I'm sorry, Sir. It's me, Lorenzo."_

It was difficult to think with Hibari biting the inside of his thigh but Gokudera vaguely remembered a young man, ambitious and enthusiastic if a bit unfortunate in his endeavours. If his memory didn't fail him he'd sent the boy off to Rome to stay in contact with a construction company that was involved in the building of their base.

He did not remember telling the guy to call him in the middle of the night.

"What the hell is it? And make it quick."

Lorenzo hesitated, _"Sir, I'm really sorry about this-"_

"Yeah, yeah, we've already established that. Get on with it," Hibari let his teeth scrape over one of Gokudera's nipples, causing him to suck in a breath and wish that his subordinate would just fucking hang up already.

_"Uhm... yes. Sorry. I... I'm afraid I've gotten into a bit of a predicament, Sir."_

The boy was waiting for a reply but Gokudera found it hard to speak with Hibari's tongue in his mouth.

When it became clear that he wouldn't get an answer Lorenzo continued, _"You know, I was supposed to get the latest construction plans to you and I assure you I was doing my best to take care of the documents. It's just that... you see, when I went out to drive to your hotel somebody had blocked my car and I tried to reverse and somehow I bumped into another car and it turned out it was a police car and they kind of saw me. I panicked and I ran and I may have left the documents in the car and they caught me and they confiscated the car and the documents and now they're accusing me of stuff I've never even heard of and, and, and... Sir, I'm afraid I'm in prison. I'm sorry."_

Somehow, all of this came out in one long, breathless litany - followed by a tentative silence on Lorenzo's part.

Gokudera had lost track of the conversation but one word did draw his full attention. He sat up with a start, Hibari on his lap and gesturing that he was as good as dead. "Say that again."

_"I'm... uh... I'm sorry?"_

"No, the other part, moron."

 _"I'm in prison, Sir."_ Lorenzo's voice was the audible equivalent of a mouse scurrying away.

\---

Apparently, the situation was a bit more serious than a simple parking damage. Lorenzo had not only been entrusted with parts of the plans for the base but also some vital documents that could - if researched properly - bring down their entire operation. Or at least enough of it to make them not even worth a bother for the Millefiore.

Gokudera had no idea who had given Lorenzo permission to leave the house with such important documents but he sure as hell was going to find the one responsible and then lock them in a room with nothing to eat but Bianchi's best dishes.

"If I recall correctly it was you who assigned him to this position," Hibari stood by the bedroom door and watched Gokudera struggle into his clothes. Their sexual activities had been brought to an abrupt end by Lorenzo's call and Hibari had proven again how highly efficient he was in everything he did - including getting dressed.

"For communication purposes only, damn it," Gokudera huffed as he hastily threw on his jacket. They didn't have much time. If Lorenzo was to be believed the police had been quick to connect him to Vongola, which made the boy either a witness or a dangerous criminal. Both possibilities meant that he was soon going to be transported to a high security facility and thus, out of immediate reach for them.

"Nobody was supposed to hand him top secret information, for crying out loud." He rushed past Hibari and opened the suite door a fraction to check if the corridor was safe.

"You need to have better control over your subordinates," Hibari leaned over him and pushed the door open all the way. He started marching off towards the stairs without even looking back. It was a mystery to Gokudera how someone like Hibari could not only still be at large but also have next to nothing on file with the police. The man was about as subtle as a redwood in a forest of Bonsai trees. But for some reason he always managed not to be where their enemies expected him to be - and if he was, there was hardly anybody left to pass the information on anyway.

"I _have_ control over my subordinates," Gokudera snarled as he followed Hibari down the emergency escape route, "just because I don't treat them like shit doesn't mean I don't know how to handle them."

"I am not treating mine - as you put it - like shit either and still," they stepped out onto a deserted back alley where Kusakabe was already waiting in a sleek black limousine, "they do exactly what I want them to."

The superior touch to Hibari's smile did not escape Gokudera's attention. "Yeah, because they're afraid you're gonna kill them if they so much as sneeze in your presence."

"At least mine know how to wipe their noses afterwards."

Gokudera let the argument end at that point because if he didn't the in-family deaths would increase and Tsuna would be very unhappy.

\---

Kusakabe let the car roll to a halt in front of a construction site a few houses down the road from the immense block of buildings that was the 'Comando Generale Dell Arma Dei Carabinieri'. The high fencing was convenient - it allowed for a good view of the entrance while hiding them from occasional glances.

They stood in silence for a while, watching men and women in dark blue uniforms bustle in and out of the building. It was like looking at a wasps' nest, knowing fully well that you were going to prod it until all the angry little insects were after you.

"We can't just blast our way in there," Gokudera peered through the mesh of the fence and searched his pockets for his Zippo, "and we can't organise a snatch-and-grab job that quickly. Not in a place like this."

"Why not?" A flash of silvery steel glinted from underneath Hibari's sleeves.

Gokudera glanced down at Hibari's weapons while lighting his cigarette. "Because we're talking about the Carabinieri's freakin' headquarters. If this was just some gang of low-lives I'd say go all out. Have fun. Enjoy yourself wrecking havoc. But that's an entire building full of cops, Kyouya. You can't just barge in there, kill everyone and then walk away."

Hibari cocked an eyebrow and Gokudera needed to remind himself that the word 'can't' eeked out a rather miserable existence in the Cloud Guardian's world.

"Look," Gokudera pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to think of a way to explain to his partner in crime why they were facing a dilemma, "the police don't mind if we go and off each other. One scumbag gone is one less they have to chase. But if we start killing their own we're gonna be neck-deep in shit in no time. They tend to take that kind of thing very personal."

"Fine," Hibari secured his tonfas and tugged at his sleeves in growing irritation, "what do you suggest then?"

Gokudera went through their options in his head. They needed to be in there fast, spring a man from the cells, gain access to the evidence locker where their documents were stored and be back out by morning at the latest. If not, Lorenzo would be shipped off to a real prison and their precious information would land on somebody's desk who would know what to do with it.

While the police were mostly not something they had to worry about, Gokudera didn't mistake them for stupid. After all, they had as much experience in fighting the mafia as the Vongola had in being the mafia. It was all just about staying that one step ahead.

It also helped to have some officers on their payroll. But Gokudera doubted that they could get one of them to cooperate quickly enough to get Lorenzo out in time.

"We need them to believe that we actually belong there," Gokudera concluded.

"If you're not planning on wearing a full-body costume," Hibari stated, "I believe they will recognise us."

Gokudera stilled and suddenly found his thoughts taking an unexpected detour. None of them could get inside posing as someone they weren't but what if they didn't pose at all? What easier way to get to the holding cells than to act as someone who had to be put behind bars? And the best part was: they didn't even have to pretend.

\---

There was some considerable discussion about who should go which Hibari won by pointing out that his tonfas were very solid while Gokudera's head wasn't.

"Fine," Gokudera spat and unbuckled his boxes belt with as much ferocity as possible without throwing it straight into Hibari's face, "here, take this."

\---

Gokudera did not feel very comfortable having Hibari as his only backup. Sure, he was their strongest ally - and it had taken Gokudera some time to recognise him as such, let alone as a fellow guardian - but he was moody as hell and unpredictable and tended to play by his own rules. Gokudera had gotten used to it but it had involved several major tantrums and refurbishments of whatever room he'd been in at the time.

But eventually, he'd accepted the fact that Hibari was just too damned quick for his bombs and he figured Hibari had realised that the Right Hand Man was a tad more useful alive than dead. And somehow they worked. They were like old parts of code in a program - nobody knew what exactly they did anymore, but they got the job done so nobody dared to change a thing.

The sex was... their ghost in the machine. It had come naturally, had evolved and now they had to deal with certain _feelings_ that neither of them could properly express. Alright, maybe Gokudera could but it usually ended in a string of curses and Hibari telling him to shut up and _let's fuck already_. Fact was that they were both unstable and highly irritable and a fucking horror to deal with in such completely different ways that they fit quite nicely together - once they'd gotten past the insults, the biting, the explosions and the random death threats.

The result was a partnership about as steady as the Leaning Tower of Pisa - slightly lopsided with a chance of toppling over altogether but, for now, holding out and looking vaguely presentable.

Gokudera just hoped that Hibari didn't choose this mission to prove just how complicated they really were. Once he was inside the building and in a cell the Cloud Guardian was their only chance of seeing daylight again - and if Hibari failed to disable the alarm system and the cameras they were mighty screwed.

"Fucking bastard better not mess this one up," He mumbled as he crossed the street in brisk strides. Never mind that he would be hard pressed to come up with a situation in which Hibari had blown an assignment. Twisted and turned to his needs, yes, because he was notoriously ignorant to any kind of plan that was not his own but he'd never actually caused a mission to go awry.

And if he'd wasted so much as a single thought on this issue while entering the Carabinieri's headquarters he would have been a deadly menace. Luckily, he didn't and hence the building and all its occupants remained intact.

\---

It went as Gokudera had hoped - the higher-ups patted each other on their backs for finally apprehending one of the infamous Vongola Guardians and the regular men and women of the force celebrated by raiding the nearest supermarket for pallets of beer. He thought it was all a bit over-excited since he'd basically walked right into their arms.

In reality, he'd done all of their work for them. The least he deserved was one of those beers.

But he couldn't blame them. He'd seen his file and while 90% of it was barely more than circumstantial it still filled entire hard drives. So, Gokudera indulged them - there were going to be a lot of heads rolling when this was over anyway.

Of course, they tried to coax some information out of him but if there was one thing Gokudera had learned from his relationship with Hibari it was how to ignore people. Especially ones who were making demands.

Once they had realised that Gokudera would rather cut off his own tongue than tell them anything they marched him off to the holding cells, parading him around like a bloody award-winning poodle. He felt incredibly naked without his weapons, hell, without everything that was intrinsically him. But with a bit of luck the mini bombs he'd kept on him were being taken to the evidence locker where they would be waiting to be used in some strategically placed explosions.

When they led him through the cell block only awed silence followed them. There was a whistle from one of the first cells but whoever that cutup was he was quickly hushed.

Two cells from the end of the hall Gokudera caught a glimpse of a familiar face. The young man's mouth hung open and when they passed by the kid was hiding his face in his hands and was muttering a string of _'Shitshitshitshit.'_ under his breath.

The Carabinieri were unknowingly making things a lot easier for them by elbowing Gokudera into the cell right next to Lorenzo's. That would certainly facilitate communication. Plus, Gokudera could always try and reach around the bars into the other cell to strangle his subordiante.

He watched the officers leave, smugly laughing to themselves and throwing witty comments in his direction. He really wished he had his bombs on him.

Gokudera sighed and brought his suit in order. He made a mental note to lower all bribes until the damage to his clothing was paid off - and it was a very expensive suit. Then he sauntered over to the corner nearest to the neighbouring cell. "Lorenzo?"

"Y-yes, Sir?" The young man answered after a pause.

"Come here."

He heard the kid shuffle around in the other cell. "A bit closer, please."

When Gokudera was absolutely sure that Lorenzo was practically face-to-face with the bars he reached around and smacked him over the head.

"Ow!"

"What the fucking hell were you thinking, dumbass?" Gokudera was seething. "No, don't tell me. _Nothing_ , right?"

"I-... I panicked," Lorenzo's voice was distant, as if he was standing in the far corner of his cell, "I'm really sorry, Sir. I... How did they even catch you?"

"Oh, I came here to demand my documents and subordinate back and they told me to wait here while they get all the paperwork done."

"Really?"

"No, you moron!" Gokudera could have used the stupid lawn head's powerful punch now because he felt the urge to blast through the wall. "I let myself get arrested to break your feckless little arse out of here."

"You- you mean you came here to rescue me?" Suddenly Lorenzo sounded horribly like a starry-eyed teenager.

"What are you? Deaf?"

"I don't know what to say, Sir. I... thank you, Sir! Thank you so very much!" Gokudera had the terrible feeling that Lorenzo was trying to hug the wall.

"Yeah, whatever," he slumped down on the shaky excuse of a bed, "just shut up and follow my lead. We've got a plan to get you and the documents out of here so don't fuck up."

There was a tentative silence. "We, Sir?"

"What, did you think I'd come here all alone?" Gokudera snorted and started patting his pockets for his smokes until he remembered that he'd left them with his fellow guardian. "Hibari's working to disable the alarm system. Hopefully..."

He thought he heard a muffled shriek. "H-Hibari is here too?"

"He's not exactly my first choice either but when the shit hits the fan I guess he's better than any army. God, I wish I had a cigarette," Gokudera stood up and began pacing around. He was getting cranky and he knew it. The only thing that helped was nicotine, an espresso with a texture equivalent to tar or... Hibari. It was funny but the way the ever so stoic Cloud Guardian enraged Gokudera made him focus better than any kind of drug - artifical or natural.

"He's here to kill me, right?" Lorenzo squealed.

Gokudera stopped and shrugged. "Who knows."

" _Oh god_." The kid appeared to be cowering somewhere. "I knew it. I shouldn't have looked at those documents. But they fell out of the envelope and I had to pick them up, didn't I? I mean I couldn't have left them lying around, right? And I looked and his name was on them and I didn't think any of it and I just stuffed them back in the briefcase with the plans and-"

Gokudera gaped at the wall, "Wait. What documents? There were no documents for him."

"Sure. I saw them. I have no idea what they were about but the note said 'Hibari Kyouya'. Is that a problem, Sir?"

He couldn't hear Lorenzo over the sound of his anger. "That fucking bastard! That's why he's so willing to help. He was using you as a courier without telling me."

"Sir? Are you alright, Sir?" Lorenzo sounded alarmed.

Apparently, Gokudera had started kicking the bedstead. "What? Yeah. Peachy, just peachy."

He flopped down on the mattress, rubbing his eyes. "Shit. I need a smoke."

A battered packet of Gauloises skittered around the corner and bumped against his shoe. Gokudera stared at it in disbelief. "They let you keep your cigarettes?"

"I hid them," his subordinate appeared to be bursting with pride.

Gokudera shook one specimen out of its paper container and noted with a relieved smile that Lorenzo had included a batch of matches as well. "Hid them where?"

"On... my person."

He stilled before the cigarette touched his lips and eyed it suspiciously. He'd been searched rather thoroughly and he did not want to know where one would have to hide a packet of smokes in order to keep it away from the authorities. Gokudera carefully slid the cigarette back into the package and placed it a good few inches away from him.

"Well, uhm... thanks," he managed after he'd meticulously wiped his hands on his pants.

"You're welcome, Sir," he was pretty sure Lorenzo was beaming like a hundred light bulbs, "it's the least I can do."

Gokudera had no idea what to say to that so he held his tongue. Silence engulfed them for a couple of minutes in which he happily imagined all the things he would do to Hibari in return for going behind his back. It wasn't the first time the Cloud Guardian had ever done that but it was the first time he'd involved any of Gokudera's men.

Hibari lacked a sense of 'mine' and 'thine' - he usually only went for 'mine'. But so far he'd stayed clear of anyone who was affiliated with the other guardians. The bloody asshole had better have a damned good explanation for this.


	2. Chapter 2

Gokudera didn't have many secrets. He worshipped the Tenth and the ground he walked on - perhaps even a bit too much than was strictly healthy but that was hardly a secret. He'd never told anyone about this thing between Hibari and him but he figured it was as plain as the day anyway. So, apart from the emergency stash of chocolate he kept hidden in his socks drawer he really wasn't the world's most mysterious person.

In fact, Gokudera had the tendency to wear his emotions on his lapel and more often than not this resulted in nasty quarrels with people who did the same. At least, that was something that rarely happened with Hibari.

Hibari was constantly shrouded in a cloak of secrets and silence so that arguing with him was completely useless. Sometimes, when Gokudera was tired of having to prove and justify himself, it was a blessing. At other times Gokudera just wanted to shove all the insults he didn't get to say down Hibari's throat and watch him choke. Like now, for example.

He was quietly cultivating his anger when something collided with the small window above him. Something yellow and fluffy was excitedly fluttering against the glass. It was muted and high-pitched but he thought he could hear the bird chirping _Hayato! Hayato!_ in its annoying little voice.

"Stupid bird," Gokudera stepped onto the only available chair and peered out of the window, "I can't open it. If your bastard of a master has a message for me you'll have to tell me... Stop flying against the glass, you dimwit!"

Hibird settled down and blinked at him in what Gokudera suspected to be an accusatory manner. Then it fluffed its feathers and twittered happily, "One A.M.! One A.M.! Hayato! One A.M.!"

Gokudera checked the clock at the end of the corridor for lack of his own; it was shortly past midnight.

"Alright, alright. Stop it already. I got it," Gokudera poked at the glass, "tell that traitor he's an asshole and I'll have his apology on a silver plate with cream on top once we're out of here. Tell him he can- hey! What the fuck? Wait, you ignorant, degenerated duckling!"

But Hibird had already taken flight.

"Fucking bird is just as impolite as its boss," he murmured as he went back to sulking on the dingy mattress.

"Sir? May I ask what that was all about?" Lorenzo's voice floated through the dark cell block.

"See the red light on the cameras?"

There was some shuffling from the other cell. "Yes, Sir."

"Watch it. If it doesn't go out at one A.M. we're screwed."

"And what if it does?"

"Then it's your lucky day."

\---

There were times when Gokudera felt like a three-legged dog. He got things done and it worked quite nicely, thank you very much, but then - out of the blue - Hibari would swoop in and make things perfect. Or leave a rightful mess for Gokudera to clean up. But what enervated him the most was that without the bloody Cloud Guardian he was missing something. Whatever it was, wasn't strictly necessary for survival but it did add a certain finesse.

He was curious to see how Hibari was planning on getting out of this particular mess. As Gokudera was staring at the little dot of red light on the nearest camera, he swore to himself that he wouldn't let himself get distracted by sex this time. For a metaphorical crutch the bastard was terribly good at using that against him.

Somewhere outside a bell was chiming one o'clock and Gokudera glared at the tiny lamp as if that alone could switch it off. The silence was suffocating and Gokudera wished he could fill it with colourful swear words but that would neither get them out of there nor increase Lorenzo's trust in him.

He counted the seconds ticking by when a small blip indicated that the cameras weren't watching anymore. He'd counted 58 seconds.

"Fucking show-off," Gokudera mumbled as he set to work on the lock. Luckily, nobody had looked twice at his shoes. If they had they might have noticed the wire laid into the sole.

He'd picked more complicated locks than this but then again, these were only holding cells - there was basically no need for high security. People weren't supposed to be in there for too long anyway.

"Sir? What are you d-"

"Shhh, goddammit," Gokudera swiftly slid out of his cell and knelt in front of Lorenzo's door, hastily jabbing the lock, "we don't have much time so shut up and don't do anything stupid. Clear?"

Lorenzo nodded and stepped out onto the corridor. "Got it, Sir."

"You'd better," Gokudera grumbled but too low for Lorenzo to hear. The boy was trying, after all, no need to discourage him - too much.

\---

Gokudera had often tried to explain their relationship - even if it was only to prove to himself that there was some kind of inner logic to it. But he'd come to the conclusion that it rather resembled an earthquake - nobody knew when it would happen but when it did the whole world noticed and the collateral damage was substantial.

He liked to think that Hibari was the uncertainty factor in all of this. Gokudera was the Right Hand Man, after all and hence couldn't possibly be the fault in this equation. But truth be told they were both like tectonic plates and sometimes collisions of epic proportions were hard to avoid. And if Gokudera were to guess he would give the upcoming one an even 8.0 on the Richter Scale.

"How come nobody's looking for us yet?" Lorenzo whispered while Gokudera peeked around a corner.

"Because that pompous ass of a Cloud Guardian has finally done something according to plan," Gokudera waited until the two officers he'd been eyeing vanished into the hall and signalled his little helper to get a move on. Together they dragged the two unconscious Carabinieri who'd been unfortunate enough to run into them into a conveniently unlocked storage room.

"You two don't get along well, do you?" Lorenzo panted as he dumped his share of law enforcement into the tiny cabinet.

Gokudera could have explained at this point that this generalisation was not quite accurate. They got along pretty darned well in some aspects. These were just not the ones Gokudera wanted any of his subordinates to know about. If Hibari and him had been complete opposites he figured things would be easier - to explain, at least. But they weren't; they were rather like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle with too many edges. Some fit if you turned them the right way but ultimately one of them was in the wrong picture altogether.

Most of the time Gokudera feared it was him.

Since he couldn't possibly explain all of this while hurrying down a corridor in a police station he simply shrugged, "I just have a very special way of appreciating his efforts."

And if that didn't leave Lorenzo in awe of his diplomatic abilities he didn't know what would.

"You curse an awful lot when you talk about him, though," Lorenzo pointed out, pressed flat against the wall.

"I curse about you too. So what?" Gokudera hissed. He was Italian for crying out loud - cursing was in his blood. If Shakespeare had been Italian 'Romeo and Juliet' would have ended in a mutual 'Fuck you', thus expressing the entire range and magnitude of undying love.

"But you get _creative_ when you talk about him."

Gokudera stopped in his tracks and blinked. "I do _what_?"

Lorenzo gave a helpless shrug, practically standing in the middle of the corridor. "I don't know. You... invent words. Is that normal?"

The Storm Guardian tried to determine if his subordinate was being sarcastic but all that stared back at him was honest confusion. "I... Why do you even notice that?"

"Well, you've never called _me_ an," the boy's brow furrowed in concentration, " _ungrateful, twisted, bloodthirsty, egomaniac acardius whose very molecules are each in need of psychotherapy_."

Gokudera's jaw dropped at that - but only for a moment. "For the record, 'acardius' is a real word. Look it up."

"I will, Sir. I was just trying to illustrate my p-"

"Shhh!" Gokudera harshly interrupted the kid. "Do you smell that?"

"Smell wh-"

He grabbed Lorenzo's arm and slammed him into the wall behind the corner seconds before the other end of the corridor exploded. Pieces of the evidence locker were raining down on them as smoke filled the hallway.

Gokudera leaned against the wall and silently counted the ways in which he was going to execute his revenge on Hibari. He got up to 46 variations when they heard footsteps approaching through the debris.

\---

To the blissfully ignorant onlooker they usually looked like two trains seconds from colliding but in their own way they were merely two architects having a slightly over-excited argument about where to put the winter garden. In theory they were building the same thing but each of them had a very different approach towards the outcome. At the end of the day they still both had a house - a little shaky in some places perhaps but basically the same thing.

Right now, Gokudera strongly believed that the train crash connotation was closer to reality.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He shouted over the fire alarm going off. His fingers were twitching at his sides and he longed for his dynamites but his current vis-à-vis had used them all up - that arrogant prick.

Hibari emerged from the settling dust, stepping over shards of doors and lockers with an aura even the Pope himself would have envied him for. "Getting back our documents. I thought that was the objective."

"Yeah, I bet you're really fucking glad you've got _your_ documents back, huh?" Gokudera blocked the way, glaring at the man now mere inches away from him.

Hibari presented him with a look as cold as dry ice. "That's none of your business. Now get out of my way, herbivore."

Herbivore, now that was something he hadn't called Gokudera in a while. He'd really hoped they'd gotten past that point but apparently Hibari liked to make sudden detours.

"It _is_ my goddamned business when you're using my men as couriers behind my back, asshole," Gokudera violently shoved the Cloud Guardian. He was vaguely aware that if they were headed for a fight he was currently more than just a little handicapped but he'd always had trouble stopping when he should have. Exhibit A - this peculiar relationship.

Hibari obviously didn't deem him a threat, though. And it made Gokudera even more angry that he probably had every right not to.

"I don't have to justify myself to you," Hibari growled. It surprised Gokudera a little that he wasn't seeing tonfas flashing yet.

"Oh yes, you fucking do," Gokudera poked a finger at Hibari's chest, "my men, my rules. You don't put any of my men in danger without consulting me, you hear?"

"That would have defied the purpose of this mission," Hibari stated, as if he couldn't believe that Gokudera was failing to see the pattern. And maybe Gokudera couldn't because keeping up with Hibari's logic was like trying to think two steps ahead in a game of chess that was being played in another dimension.

"What mission? Our mission? _Your_ mission?" He vented his anger by way of punching his partner in the face. "Help me out here because I sure as fuck can't tell anymore what freaking agenda you're following."

Hibari wiped some blood from his chin, giving him a genuine I-will-rip-you-apart-look but still, the tonfas remained out of sight.

"What? Are you only gonna scowl at me? No devil-may-care comeback?"

"Uhm... Sirs? Excuse me, but perhaps we should-", Lorenzo's interjection remained unheard.

"I will bite you dead," Hibari lunged himself at the Storm Guardian and within seconds they were doing their best to strangle each other. The alarm bells kept ringing and the entirety of the police squad was certainly on their way to their location but that didn't concern them right now. After all, a train crash didn't wait for the rescue teams to arrive either.

"Sirs, please, this really isn't- _Ow!_ " Lorenzo tried to separate them but an ill-placed elbow stopped his efforts.

It was funny how Gokudera was almost induced to tell the bloody skylark that he loved him during sex while in situations like this he was more likely to kill Hibari. Actually, both never happened. It was a bit like driving with only two wheels on the ground - flipping over was only too easy.

"I let your no-good subordinate deliver my documents because I thought nobody would ever suspect an idiot like that to carry important information," Hibari hissed as he pressed Gokudera against the wall, "and it would have worked if that coward hadn't gotten himself caught."

"Excuse me? I'm right here. I can hear you, you know?"

"Shit," Gokudera was gasping for air, "then get... one of your... own... idiots to do it... next time."

He brought the heel of his shoe down on Hibari's foot, causing the Cloud Guardian to loose his balance. Gokudera got in an uppercut before Hibari's hand was twisted in his tie and he was tugged forward. Their foreheads connected painfully and Gokudera saw stars for a moment.

They stumbled backwards through the rubble of the explosion until something considerably smaller squeezed between them. It turned out to be Lorenzo.

"Alright, stop it!" The kid yelled while forcing them apart.

They both gaped at him - Gokudera out of disbelief to hear something akin to an order out of Lorenzo's mouth and Hibari probably out of disapproval because he'd been denied a proper fight.

Lorenzo suddenly seemed to realise that he was standing between two pissed-off superiors, "I-... uh... what I wanted to say is... maybe we should go? Because they're sort of coming."

And just as the kid pointed at the other end of the corridor the first Carabinieri were rounding the corner, guns at the ready and shouting orders.

"We'll talk about this later," Gokudera growled in Hibari's direction.

The other guardian only shrugged and tossed Gokudera his boxes belt. "Make yourself useful."

Well, so much for low-key.

\---

An hour later the fire brigade was still busy putting out the smaller fires. The part of the building that had housed the evidence locker was reduced to a pile of smouldering ruins but miraculously nobody had been injured - at least, not by the fire.

As much as Gokudera had tried to keep Hibari from actually killing anybody he couldn't possibly deny the man the fun he was obviously having breaking noses, ribs and miscellaneous other extremities. But fortunately, Gokudera had become pretty good at acting as a shield between the innocent and the death threat on legs that was the Cloud Guardian.

Back at the hotel he still had to sit through a video call with the Tenth during which he had to explain why half of the Carabinieri headquarters had been blown up. Gokudera emphasised that the initial plan had definitely not included ruining a building and sending the greater part of the Roman police force to the hospital but that wasn't exactly news. The Tenth knew his guardians and he wouldn't be their trusted leader if he didn't guess who was to blame for their overly flashy exit.

Gokudera let himself fall back onto the bed after the call and took some deep calming breaths. Hibari was in the bathroom showering, which was giving Gokudera plenty of time to plan his revenge. Although, he was considering postponing it until after he'd had some sleep.

He would have drifted off to the sound of the water from the other room if there hadn't been a tentative knock on their door.

"Who the fuck is it?" Gokudera shouted, glaring up at the ceiling.

_"It's me, Lorenzo."_

"Good God, is there no end to this shit?" He grumbled but got up to open the door nevertheless.

"Sorry to disturb you, Sir," Lorenzo said as he stepped into the suite, "I was just... actually, I meant to apologise for, you know... everything."

Gokudera sighed. He was too exhausted to point out that a mere 'sorry' wasn't going to cut it but Lorenzo was already basically grovelling before him anyway.

"Yeah, whatever," he went to pour himself a drink from the mini bar and gestured for his subordinate to take a seat, "you do realise that I can't just overlook this, don't you?"

"Yes, Sir," Lorenzo was practically trying to sink into the plush chair.

"You know, I'm beginning to get the feeling that this whole field operative thing isn't working out for you," Gokudera slumped into the opposite chair, taking a generous gulp from his Grappa.

"I know, I was meaning to talk to you about this but I-"

"Chickened out?" Gokudera provided.

Lorenzo squirmed like a school boy in the principal's office. "Yes."

Gokudera studied the kid in silence for a while, adding to the unpleasantness of the entire experience but if he didn't have the energy to shout at the guy he had to at least make him feel uncomfortable.

"A-are you going to... _dispose_ of me now?"

"What, you mean like sealing your feet in a block of concrete and then dumping you into the Tiber?"

Lorenzo gave him a shocked look which might have wrung a tiny smile from Gokudera.

"No. We don't do that. Not anymore, anyway," he said with a small wink, "I've been thinking more along the lines of... addressing your more prominent talents. I read in your file that you're not bad at cooking, is that right?"

"You've got a file on me?" Lorenzo perked up his ears.

"Sure. I've got a file on everyone in the family," Which was true, with one exception and that had jet-black hair and tended to be allergic to anything written concerning his person. He'd even tonfas'd Gokudera's computer once when he'd found out that the Right Hand Man was putting some information together.

"Really? Shit...uhm, that incident with the dog and the lady? I can explain that."

"Oh, I'm sure you can," Gokudera couldn't suppress a laugh, "but it's not about that. How about you try lending a hand in the kitchen at headquarters? As far as I know you haven't gotten arrested while cooking yet, have you?"

A hopeful grin began to spread on Lorenzo's face, "No, Sir. I would love to! Thank you so much for... for... well, for not killing me."

"Lorenzo, if you assume that I'm gonna have you murdered one more time I am really going to consider it."

"Yes, Sir. Of course. Sorry." The young man was back to his giddy self, like a puppy waiting for the ball to be thrown.

"Now get out," Gokudera waved a hand in the general direction of the door, "and stay in your room."

Lorenzo nodded eagerly and got up. He hesitated for a moment, though.

"Fuck, what else?" Gokudera rolled his eyes.

"Hibari and you... I think you two make a great team, if you don't mind me saying that," the boy avoided Gokudera's eyes and shrugged, "I've never seen the both of you in action but you're really impressive. Once you get past all the arguing."

"Lorenzo," Gokudera growled menacingly before throwing his glass, " _out!_ "

The apology was somehow obscured by the door falling shut and Gokudera's glass splintering into a thousand pieces.

\---

As much as Gokudera hated it - the kid had a point. It was strange, the way they worked together and sometimes it scared the crap out of Gokudera how well they clicked even if they didn't intend to. But that didn't make the main argument any less true - they worked.

It was just a little frightening to hear it from someone who... well, to hear it from someone, period.

When Hibari came out of the shower he found Gokudera slouched in a chair and quietly laughing to himself.

"What's so funny?"

Gokudera shook his head and smiled, "Nothing. Just a third class gangster wannabe stating the obvious."

Hibari arched an eyebrow but otherwise didn't insist on any further explanation. Perhaps there were things even the infamous skylark was terrified to admit.

"Say," Gokudera leaned back and gave his partner a thoughtful look, "back there at the station, when we fought... I didn't have any weapons on me. You could have easily beaten me. Why didn't you?"

Hibari slung the towel he'd been using to dry his hair around his shoulders, "I would have killed you."

"Don't tell me that would have bothered you," Gokudera laughed but the sound got stuck in his throat when the Cloud Guardian only stared at him.

More often than not, the things Hibari didn't want to say were in the silence between his words. And to Gokudera's own surprise he was getting better at paying attention. Although, it did feel like those SETI guys listening for extraterrestrial messages. But if you stripped away the static and all the overlaying and misleading signals the message was actually quite clear and simple.

"Huh," Gokudera marvelled, "who would have thought of that..."

"Don't pride yourself," Hibari remarked snidely, "next time I won't be so indulgent."

Gokudera smiled and wondered for a second where all his rage had gone but he figured it had to have something to do with Hibari being half-naked and wet and within reach. Damn, he'd promised himself he wouldn't be distracted by sex but there he was, watching his fine resolution go down the drain.

"Well, while you're in such a generous mood why don't we pick up where we've left off? You owe me one for pulling that stunt, after all."

That earned him a damp towel in the face but also an armful of nude Cloud Guardian willing to forego any further communication involving words.

\---

Gokudera never found out what those precious documents of Hibari's were about. He didn't ask either. After so many years with the fellow guardian he knew when to let Hibari keep his secrets. Or rather, he knew when trying to get him to reveal those secrets was more trouble than any information was worth.

Hibari never used any of Gokudera's subordinates as errand-boys again which was a small victory but a victory nonetheless.

And dear, unfortunate Lorenzo? He managed to make two chefs and three kitchen helps leave within the first week because he turned out to be somewhat of a cooking dictator. At least, Gokudera didn't have to read any of his horrible reports anymore.


End file.
